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a letter to your ex..


Dear R,

I hate how you’ve changed so much, no-one knows it as much as I do. And don’t say that I don’t understand you, cause I’m the only person who has stuck with you through everything, the person who helped you the most, cared for you the most and who loves you the most no matter how many times you pushed me away. I saw you at your best and at your worst. I  was there for you through every single damn thing and I made you feel like the best thing in the world. I gave you everything and all I’m asking right now is to stop trying to ruin my life and if you still want to then that’s fine, just pretend that I was never in your life, that we never shared any single good moment, and just forget that I made you feel like you were worth something to someone, that your life was actually worth living because of me.

I feel sorry for myself, because I actually thought you liked me when you never did.

I will always be here for justin no matter what, and i will always love him, he has his own reasons for doing what he did and he’s human, he has the right to have fun too, it’s his life so leave him the fuck alone.

My lovely followerssss!

Merry christmas! thank you so much for everything, it´s been an amazing year thanks to all of you, thank you for always being here for me and support me in everything i do, i hope you have an amazing day and all your wishes come true because you deserve it!

Love, Andy

Picture this.

In 10 years i bump into you on the street.

I say hi, you say it back.

I ask how your life is.

You tell me about your wife and your kids.

And when you do it will break my heart.

Not because i don’t want you to be happy.

Because that’s all i want.

But because 10 years ago…

I pictured somebody else asking you how your life is

And you would tell them about me.

You had your chance, you blew it. Now watch a real man do it.

do you ever just sit there, and realize how alone you really are. realize that you can’t really rely on your family, and you don’t really have anyone you can call your “best friend” or someone who you can trust with your life. that there’s no one you can really turn to when you’re struggling and no one to comfort you when you want to burst into tears hysterically crying. and that the people you thought would be there for you, will just turn on you in a split on second for someone better. so you’re just there, by yourself forever with no one to help you or care for you and you don’t know what to do, so you just sit there and cry to yourself. thinking that no one would even care if you just disappeared one day. it’s a terrible feeling

i remember…

I remember all those late night conversations, and on my worst days i miss you. It hits me at the most random times, like when i walk out of the house in the morning, or when i see a cat, or when the midnight air creeps through my window and rips at my cheeks. I remember everything you said, and i can’t help but be mad at myself for pushing you away.

You have the right to leave someone,

but at least tell them why, ‘cause what’s even more painful than being abandoned is knowing you’re not worth an explanation

6 months ago…

I was pleading for you to stay, But you didn’t. If you did however i wouldn’t have found out that things eventually get better. Somedays i miss you and all the good talks we have. I still love you too but i guess i just don’t like you anymore. It happens. Im sorry

I’m still trying to pick myself up from the last time i fell. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this

It took me 18 years to be okay with how the world works…

After 216 month i’ve finally realized that it’s okay to be sad when other people are happy, it’s okay to be happy when other people are sad. It took six thousand, five hundred and seventy days for me to be okay with people leaving, for me to accept that that’s just the way life has to be at times. Sometimes the people we love leave, sometimes we only see, that we loved them after they’re already gone. And after 157785 hours i’ve decided that i’m ok with that. This is the way things are, i’ve also realized that maybe; just maybe, the people that matter will never really leave you. and i’m okay with that too.